I've been doing it a lot lately, however.
I can't believe that in a few weeks, I will no longer be the mother of one little girl, but of two. The thought always leads to The Boy, who will finally discover what it means to love his own child in a way he would never have expected and I cannot explain to him.
In just a few weeks...
Anyway, I'm struggling with the gross part of late pregnancy. I'm breaking out, my feet are swelling and my face looks like it's pregnant with it's own brand of ugly. I did post belly pics, but they were slightly x-rated and are in my other journal. :p If you can't see them...you won't.
I think I'll try and get a few pictures of my with a top on this time.
I go on maternity leave starting the 19th of this month. I'm kind of freaked out about it. In one hand, I know I'm going to be really focused on my girls and my family. On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to feeling so isolated from the rest of the world, by not directly being "in it". I won't be working, (although, I'll still be an employee), and my life will revolve around homemaking and diaper changes. I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously, simply because I won't be bringing in my own money, and will be so dependant.
I hate that feeling.
The boyfriend and I went to one day of parenting class, and then skipped the next one because we were too exhausted. It was nice, however. In the first class, we were able to connect really nicely with breathing techniques and massage. Jon can be very sensual and comforting when he wants to be. We never seem to have time to be that way anymore...it was really relaxing and for the first time in a long time, I felt really comfortable around him.
We skipped the next class, however, because we were exhausted, and 8 am came WAY too early. We needed the sleep. It wasn't a terrible day, however, and for the past week or so, things have been relaxed between us. I think we're both just coasting towards D-Day.
My fellow employees at work threw us a baby shower and I LOVE them for it. They went all out and we received a BUNCH of nice things. We're pretty much set up for the baby now, and of course, this will mean she's not coming until she wants to, and not a second earlier. Yes, I know what the finger-wagging momma's in el-jay-land say "It's better to go into things naturally", but it still sucks, being this pregnant, in the desert, with swollen feet and oily, hormonal skin. (I kind of love/hate that community at this point)
Anyway...Speck is almost here. She moves a little bit less lately, but she doesn't have much room in there. She's already bigger than Aurora was at birth. Jon gets a kick out of her movements now. Aurora gets excited when she feels her sister move too. And of course, I can SEE her movements. She has basically taken over my entire midsection, and it will not be returned to me until way after it's properly stretched out and mishapen. *sigh*
This has been an interesting year so far. I can't imagine what my life will be like in the months to come. Last Christmas, I was miserable, (and working made it easier to pretend). I think this year will be much better, because I have so much to be thankful for. Aurora will be with her father, but I'll still have a brand new baby at Christmas. We probably won't go nuts with presents and such, but it will be so nice to have a connected family again. I'm really starting to look forward to it.
Ob appt on Thursday. I don't want to go. I don't see the point if I'm having a scheduled c-section on the 27th.