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a story about a birth [09 Oct 2006|08:00am]
[ mood | content ]

I'm wary about sharing my birth story in the pregnancy community. Mostly because I know I'm going to get the inevitable, "OMG - WHY DID YOU HAVE A C-SECTION!!"

I don't feel like answering that question for the 4393398501493th time.


Our Birth StoryCollapse )

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and the clock is ticking... [26 Sep 2006|06:48pm]
[ mood | excited ]

Well, I go in for my c-section tomorrow. I'm nervous, even though it's a repeat.

She'll be about a week early, and the doc estimates she's almost 8 lbs already. It's not hard to imagine why I'm excited about getting her out :)

We're a buzz over here. We can't sit still. :X

Next time I update, we'll have a baby, and there will be pictures!!!

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the home stretch... [13 Sep 2006|11:46am]
Ok, so I haven't been as descriptive about this pregnancy as I assumed I would be. Truthfully, this year has gone by so fast. I haven't really had the chance to sit down and think to myself "omg...I'm pregnant!"

I've been doing it a lot lately, however.

I can't believe that in a few weeks, I will no longer be the mother of one little girl, but of two. The thought always leads to The Boy, who will finally discover what it means to love his own child in a way he would never have expected and I cannot explain to him.

In just a few weeks...

Anyway, I'm struggling with the gross part of late pregnancy. I'm breaking out, my feet are swelling and my face looks like it's pregnant with it's own brand of ugly. I did post belly pics, but they were slightly x-rated and are in my other journal. :p If you can't see them...you won't.

I think I'll try and get a few pictures of my with a top on this time.

I go on maternity leave starting the 19th of this month. I'm kind of freaked out about it. In one hand, I know I'm going to be really focused on my girls and my family. On the other hand, I'm not looking forward to feeling so isolated from the rest of the world, by not directly being "in it". I won't be working, (although, I'll still be an employee), and my life will revolve around homemaking and diaper changes. I'm afraid I won't be taken seriously, simply because I won't be bringing in my own money, and will be so dependant.

I hate that feeling.

The boyfriend and I went to one day of parenting class, and then skipped the next one because we were too exhausted. It was nice, however. In the first class, we were able to connect really nicely with breathing techniques and massage. Jon can be very sensual and comforting when he wants to be. We never seem to have time to be that way anymore...it was really relaxing and for the first time in a long time, I felt really comfortable around him.

We skipped the next class, however, because we were exhausted, and 8 am came WAY too early. We needed the sleep. It wasn't a terrible day, however, and for the past week or so, things have been relaxed between us. I think we're both just coasting towards D-Day.

My fellow employees at work threw us a baby shower and I LOVE them for it. They went all out and we received a BUNCH of nice things. We're pretty much set up for the baby now, and of course, this will mean she's not coming until she wants to, and not a second earlier. Yes, I know what the finger-wagging momma's in el-jay-land say "It's better to go into things naturally", but it still sucks, being this pregnant, in the desert, with swollen feet and oily, hormonal skin. (I kind of love/hate that community at this point)

Anyway...Speck is almost here. She moves a little bit less lately, but she doesn't have much room in there. She's already bigger than Aurora was at birth. Jon gets a kick out of her movements now. Aurora gets excited when she feels her sister move too. And of course, I can SEE her movements. She has basically taken over my entire midsection, and it will not be returned to me until way after it's properly stretched out and mishapen. *sigh*

This has been an interesting year so far. I can't imagine what my life will be like in the months to come. Last Christmas, I was miserable, (and working made it easier to pretend). I think this year will be much better, because I have so much to be thankful for. Aurora will be with her father, but I'll still have a brand new baby at Christmas. We probably won't go nuts with presents and such, but it will be so nice to have a connected family again. I'm really starting to look forward to it.

Ob appt on Thursday. I don't want to go. I don't see the point if I'm having a scheduled c-section on the 27th.
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My wonderfully "boring" pregnancy [31 Jul 2006|10:07pm]
[ mood | excited ]

OB appt. when great today. Speck is perfection, her heartbeat is great, and I feel like I got hit by a bus. :D

Every joint hurts, I'm contracting again (but normally so), and I can't get comfortable enough to get a decent nights sleep. I feel bad that I wake the boyfriend up all night with my tossing and turning.

Speck will be arriving by C-Section one week before she would try and come out on her own. I think she'll be MORE than ready, seeing as how she seems to try and get out through my belly button on numerous accounts.

I'm HUGE. I know I owe belly pics, but I hate the way I look - seriously. I'm not a cute pregnant girl, (although, I was told my weight gain was perfect. I'm only 2lbs heavier than I was last month. yay for intense water consumption. oh yes). I still look like I'm going to pop at a moments notice. My mom says I don't look pregnant from behind, but I can't see how, as I can tell my ass has gotten bigger. (prego pants tell me so)

Other than that, things are going pretty well. I'm more tired than I've been this whole pregnancy, and it's making it harder to keep working, but I need to, especially right now. We're moving soon, and there are many little details that my paychecks are helping to cover. I want to get as much as I can out of this job before I take about a year off, (with the exception of a little help during the christmas season). My 7 year old has school shopping coming up, and we have lots of little detailed items we need for our new place.

Speck has a lot of the bigger items she'll need for the next year. We decided that it would be easier to cover the more expensive items, instead of hoping a bunch of people will buy them for us. I've learned that you buy them anyway, once you realize you really need them. Plus, if we can afford it, why expect someone else to buy it for us?

To date, we've acquired:
-The crib and mattress
-The bedding (whoa. EXPENSIVE)
-The carseat/stroller thingy
-The pack n play bassinet thing
-Some clothes

I still need:
-A baby bag. I want a really chic expensive one, and today I realized that maybe I'm being stupid about that. but I really want it. I suck.
-tons of onesies
-a manual breast pump. I really like the avent manual one. I had a few crappy manual ones, and one expensive medela, that sucked. My aunt gave me a manual one that she never opened when Aurora was about 6 months. It was awesome. (and yes, I was a very successful breastfeeder.)
-a baby bathtub
-a wipe warmer
-receiving blankets
-hooded bath towels
-baby toiletries
-a baby carrier or a sling
-diapers. (omg. not this again)
-a baby monitoring system

I'm sure there are tons of other things I'm forgetting. We did a registry at Baby's R Us. I have yet to tell anyone about it though, until now.

I'm excited. Both my baby girls are almost home!

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26 weeks... [03 Jul 2006|02:36pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

I am SO late for an update...

quick synopsis:

-started having pretty strong contractions last month. Doc took me down to 24 hours a week and prescribed lots and lots of water.

-was hospitalized for contractions and again, prescribed lots and lots of water.

-took a few fun tests (totally un-fun), and I negatively passed them. So far, I am not at risk for pre-term labor. :D

-Speck is FABULOUS. :) She's about 2lbs, and is a little over a foot long. :D She kicks like kung fu and is, as far as I can tell, very temperamental. I get a very strong feeling from her that she REALLY want's to be here. I'm glad. We can't wait for her.

In regards to personalities, I had it easy with Aurora. She was a very easy-going baby, who I bonded with immediately. She wasn't fussy, didn't suffer from extreme bouts of colic, and had the least amount of teething pain I've ever seen. She had some issues with dangerously low iron levels, but she wasn't a crier. I'm wondering if it will be anything close to that with Speck. She's already more aggressive in utero, kicking much harder than Aurora ever did. I wonder if she'll be more direct and demanding than Aurora was. I'm not afraid of that happening. I'm rather excited to meet her, and explore her personality. (I'm a great believer in allowing children to be who they are, and loving them for it)

I know I owe belly shots, and they ARE coming. I'm just...easily distracted, and quite frankly, Mr Wonderful isn't the greatest photographer. (I love him anyway)

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I'm not ready to take it easy [01 Jun 2006|12:50pm]
[ mood | lethargic ]

Although, my doctor says I have no choice.

Three things he's "worried" about:

-PVCs are getting more frequent. They went away for awhile, but the past week or so, they've been back.

-Braxton-Hicks contractions a little too early. I didn't have them until I nearly 7 months along the last time. 22 weeks is early, and they're hurting my back too. Not good.

-I'm too tired. I feel lethargic, and when I push myself to get things done, and focus at work, I get winded and my heart jumps around. Again, not a good thing

I have to cut back on hours, and rest more. Blah blah blah. I hate how this makes me feel so lazy.

Also, I'm starting to notice a few things I hate when I visit my OB's office.

-I hate rushing to be on time for my appointment, and waiting an hour to be seen anyway.

-I hate having to pee in a little cup every single time. It's the least graceful thing a woman can do.

I have another US in about 2 and a half weeks. Time to take another look at Speck the Soccer Player and make sure she's got a great heart. (of course she does!)

2 comments|post comment

she's kicking. a lot.

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double-ex chromosomes please! [04 May 2006|11:34am]
[ mood | happy ]

That's right folks...IT'S A GIRL!!

We found out yesterday and everyone is really excited. It's funny, I could have sworn this one was a boy, but now that I know, it makes more sense. I get the feeling she's a little pickier and more reserved that Aurora was. Aurora was playful and I felt our connection early on.

This one seems a little...aloof? Apparently, she's already like her father.


Aurora is especially thrilled to have another sister. (she has one with my ex)

Yes, we have a name, and at this point in time, we're not disclosing it. Not because it makes that much of a difference, but we've had this name picked out forever. It's something we want to keep between us.

To those that know..SHHHH

Otherwise, I'm perfectly healthy. The doctor says the baby looks great, and I'm moving right along just as he expects I will. I've even managed to keep my weight regulated. And trust me, the way I feel about my body right now - that's a good thing.

And I think I need a nap now. Oh yes...a nap sounds very nice ;)

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Speck the OxyMoron! [21 Apr 2006|01:06pm]
[ mood | good ]

My gestating unborn is a jumbo shrimp.

I'm 16 weeks, and the nausea is subsiding. I don't think it will go away completely, but I only deal with it at night. *phew*

Also, my sex drive has returned with full force. YaY!

I have that protein test and a few other to take care of ASAP. Plus, we find out whether Speck has girl parts or boy parts on May 3rd. I'm excited!!

Had a bout with the flu, which made me puke tons more, and I spent the day in the ER. Good thing, because I got a nice anti-nausea medication prescription out of it. Huzzah.

I suppose it's time to get ready for work now. It's a good thing my energy has returned!

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lucky number 13 [28 Mar 2006|06:06pm]
I'm 13 weeks and speck is the size of a lime!

The baby looks like a baby now, (a lime-sized baby), and my morning sickness is becoming more controlled with time. (Not controlled enough, but I'm a "lil trooper", according to the spermanator who helped speck come to be). I've taken to sucking on either peppermints or cinnamon hot candies. They both seem to quell the nausea enough for me to have a conversation without gagging. I hate gagging while I'm talking to someone. I have to stop mid-sentence to keep from puking in their face. :\

I'm starting to show (and that's typical for me), and I hate it. I feel like an unattractive cow. I hate feeling like an egg with legs. I know all that crap about "pregnancy being beautiful" and "I'm glowing", but really, I don't feel like I'm glowing by any means.

I have to start thinking about what I'm going to do after the baby is born. Do I stay at my current position and return for the busy (and crappy) holiday season? Or do I find something I can do at home and try to suppliment our budget that way? Decisions Decisions.... *sigh*

We're also looking for a new place pretty soon. I kind of feel bad having to move out on my mom, but we need to make room for the baby AND Aurora, who will forever need her own room from now on. The very thought confirms my pension for not having very much to move around. I'm not looking forward to moving around Mr Man's stuff. (he has a lot of stuff)

However, I AM looking forward to a nap...right about now..
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Officially... [28 Feb 2006|07:24pm]
[ mood | tired ]

I'm 8 and a half weeks...

We saw Speck yesterday on our first ultrasound. :D!!!! (and I'm pissed because I can't get the scanner to work.)

Speck is about 2 cm long, and was moving tiny arm and leg buds. It was neat to see their little heart beating too :)

The nausea hasn't been super terrible. Sometimes, it gets bad and I shake until I can eat,(and unfortunately, I'm so sick by then, eating doesn't help much.)

So far, I've craved pineapple, and chicken, and today, I ate a pickle spear with russian dressing. I don't have an excuse for this, but it was good. Come to think of it..I could really go for a lemonade right now.

Also: I have to see a cardiologist during my pregnancy. The PVCs that I get are increasing and my doctor is worried about later on, and how much stress that will put on my heart. I'm trying not to worry at this point. I'm more afraid of the doctor telling me to take medical leave from my job than anything else.

Otherwise, Speck is officially due 10-05-06. Of course, I can't wait :)

4 comments|post comment

the morning sickness has arrived... [14 Feb 2006|07:29pm]
Blah. This time of pregnancy is the WORST! I hate feeling sick all the time, and hating the way everything smells. It's overwhelming, tiring, and I hate puking. HATE IT!!


Otherwise, things seem ok. The pregnancy seems to be progressing right along. I'm a little over 6 weeks, and I'm starting to really feel it. I need to call back the OB and make an appointment, but it just seems as though there are too many things to do. I've been exhausted lately, and sleep is so indulgent...

The Boyfriend has all but legally moved in. I don't mind a bit, although it is a tight fit for now. (no double-entendres please) I like having him here. We're not necessarily in eachother's face all the time, and he's doing what he can to keep me comfortable and happy. :)

Valentine's Day was good this year too. He got me tickets to a GREAT show, and I CANNOT wait to see them. (DCFC) I gave him a new watch, which he's probably going to kill me for, because it was slightly expensive. Not terribly so, but yeah, I'm pretty much broke til Friday. :)

We took Aurora for an early dinner at Claim Jumpers and had a good time. It was low-key and fun, which is exactly how I like all my holidays to be. No drama.

I'm hungry again, which will stave off the current nausea that's slowly creeping up on me. *sigh*, I'm really craving some cantalope right now. LOL
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Five Weeks!!! [03 Feb 2006|11:16am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Today, I'm five weeks along, according to my ticker and my pregnancy journal. The time is starting to pick up...I'm anxious for my little one, but I'm waiting to see how I handle the "six week mark" when I tend to get very nauseated.

So far, my breast tenderness has increased, and to top it off, I've got a nasty cold. Super cool. Really.

I'm not taking anything because, A. I haven't gotten myself to a doctor yet, and B. there isn't much I'm allowed to take anyway. I know I can take a dose of tylenol every 24 hours, and that helps a little with the aches and pains. However, I'm really congested and it's been hard for me to breathe. I'm sure I'm snoring like a bear everynight. :X

Today, I had jalapeno poppers for breakfast. Not the best breakfast in the world, I know, but I really wanted that spicy-cheesy flavor. The spicier the better. I'm thinking it has to do with my cold, however. Food doesn't taste like anything with my nose all stuffed up.

Day 20 - For the next thirty days, a critical period in the development of your baby's heart will overlap with the intense growth of the central nervous system. While the heart itself consists of just two heart tubes, it must join with the blood vessels that have been proliferating in the cardiac region of the baby's system...Today was a big day in the development of your baby's muscles, bones spinal cord, and heart. By this time, the amniotic sac is about the size of a grape.

Speck will be born in the year of the dog, which apparently makes him/her everyone's best friend. :)

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I barely know you're there.. [30 Jan 2006|02:56pm]
[ mood | calm ]

So today...

I'm off. I'm glad. I needed a day to kind of gather myself. I needed a moment to retreat and plan ahead for Specks arrival.

There are a few things that we have to do in the next few weeks in order to ensure a great pregnancy and life afterwards:

-I need to find a decent doctor. I want someone who respects my need for information. I ask a LOT of questions. My last doctor (who delivered my twinkle-star), was abrupt, almost to the point of being rude, and religiously biased. I know that sounds absurd, but she wasn't helpful or nice until she found out my ex was jewish and she considered us a jewish family. Suddenly, I was her favorite patient.

-I need to figure out my living expenses and situation. Currently, we don't live together. It's just been too complicated for that, but I think that's going to change. Combining finances will help, as will getting a place of our own. I'm glad he sees this as important too.

I bought the same pregnancy journal I had with my daughter. It's even better this time, with more information and places to write notes.

Excerpt: Day 17 - The top layer of cells or ectoderm, compress to form a groove called the notochord, which gives rise to the vertebrae, or the bones of the spine, and the discs of tissue between those bones....These top layer cells grow rapidly and form a thickened area called the neural plate, which will form your baby's head...

Speck is now .02 inches long. < --- two or three Specks could fit inside that period right there.

The only symptoms I'm feeling are breast-tenderness, and fatigue. Thankfully, the nausea isn't here yet. *phew* I'm craving broccoli and cheese, and other fruits and veggies.

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meet Speck's mom.... [29 Jan 2006|09:23pm]
[ mood | excited ]

According to my ticker...

I'm 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant.

This is a pretty amazing time for me. I didn't expect to be pregnant right now, or even this year. There were even times that I didn't expect to ever have any more kids.

I'm not exactly in the "best" position to be having another baby. There has been a recent rise in the drama-factor. My boyfriend and I are obviously not married. I'm not financially comfortable, but I'm not starving either. I have another child whom I adore, who will have to learn to share the amount of attention I can normally give all to her. It's not a large list, but there are enough reasons to not be having a baby right now. None of them convince me to do otherwise.

All day long at work, I couldn't help but think, I'm going to have a baby....I'm going to have a baby!!!.

Wow. I still can't believe it.

What an amazing year this is going to be!

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